Ashes Barbed Banter

July 23, 2009

A handful of choice lines from the annals of Ashes sledging…

Rod Marsh to Ian Botham: “How’s your wife and my kids?”
Botham: “The wife’s fine, the kids are retarded.”

Mark Waugh (younger brother of Steve) to Jimmy Ormond: “There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.”
Ormond: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”

Merv Hughes to Graeme Hick: “Mate, if you turn the bat over, you’ll find the instructions on the other side.”

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Michelle Larcher De Brito – Wimbledon’s Biggest Grunter Ever

June 25, 2009

Pneumatic drills have been measured at 125 decibels and next week revellers at Glastonbury Festival will be exposed to 115.

And behind them, a close third, is the new grunting phenomenon of ladies tennis – 16-YEAR-OLD Portuguese Michelle Larcher De Brito.

Experts say it is unsafe to be exposed to 110 decibels for more than half-an-hour – so De Brito, whose shriek has been measured at 109, should have a health warning.

How the grunters compare, in decibels

Lion’s roar 110
Michelle Larcher De Brito 109
Maria Sharapova 101
Monica Seles 93.2
Serena Williams 88.9
Lindsay Davenport 88
Venus Williams 85
Victoria Azarenka 83.5
Elena Bovina 81
Anna Kournikova 78.5
Kim Clijsters 75
Elena Dementieva 73